We’ve all got a lot more time on our hands as we wait for new consoles to come out and the planet to stop burning to ash around us, so why not spend that time constructively. Like working out just how many people Max Payne manages to kill over three video games.
SEX-POSITIVE GAMER have crunched the numbers and, over three games released 11 years apart, it turns out Max just casually (and often very slowly) kills over 2241 people.
That is…holy shit that is a lot of people. Especially when you see the way the murders are split over the games. In 2001’s Max Payne, you kill 652 people. A lot when you remember this is a game full of regular folks, not alien hordes or supernatural forces. Max Payne 2 relaxes a bit, only requiring 373 kills while playing as Max (though you do clock up another 91 as Mona Sax).
In 2012’s Max Payne 3, however, you kill 1216 people. Jesus, Max.
Like many of you I’ve spent a large chunk of my life playing violent video games, but this might be the first time I have ever stopped to take note of just precisely how many murders have been committed at the end of a playthrough. It’s a lot! A lot. And especially noteworthy here since this isn’t some respwaning competitive affair. As a singleplayer experience every one of these enemies is depicted as a person, someone who you aren’t eliminating, but killing.
Which…look, it will never stop me from playing these games, and won’t stop you either, but sometimes it can help to step back and at least acknowledge this, ok?
Just so you can check their notes/follow along from home, SEX-POSITIVE GAMER recorded their whole playthrough of the second and third games (saying it’s very hard to play + record the first in 2020?)
Boy I’ve really go to go and play Max Payne 3 again, which the back of me memory tells me “ruled”.
- Max Payne has killed over 2,000 cops and criminals
- Gordon Freeman is an anti-fascist mass-murderer in Half-Life 2
- First Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League trailer features evil Superman, coming 2022
- Joe Rogan Reveals He Quit Video Games After Getting Addicted and Physically Sick
- Hellbound is a Doom and Quake throwback that’s out next month