I haven’t played Monster Sniper Season 3—no one has yet, except its creator—but I can already tell you it’s the worst game ever made. That’s not a value judgement; it’s the stated goal of the project.
Starting in November last year, TikTok creator Everywhere Nowhere has set out to deliberately make the worst videogame they possibly can, combining their own pet peeves with suggestions from commenters. Each video in the series shows the developer adding new dreadful features to the game that make it even worse each time.
@everywhereno
♬ Storytelling – Adriel
As it stands, it’s a 2D platformer about a poorly drawn rat with a boomerang and a rocket launcher. Here’s just a selection of its infuriating features:
- The nightmarish control scheme involves moving the character with the mouse and aiming with the keyboard.
- Enemies include swarms of tiny ants and aggressive bats, both of which are faster than the player.
- Loud, out of tune flute music that loops every 20 seconds, and can’t be turned down unless you buy a specific upgrade.
- To buy upgrades, you have to get fish through an almost impossible fishing minigame, and then trade those fish on an entirely random stock market to earn “fish coins”.
- However, the vast majority of the upgrades actually do nothing.
- It’s always online (because it has to send an HTTP request to Yahoo in order to start).
- In order to reload the rocket launcher, you have to charge it by pressing the reload key 150 times. It breaks if you go too fast.
- To switch over to your boomerang, you have to solve a maths problem.
- There’s an NPC in the game that, if talked to, launches into a 150 line unskippable monologue that includes his life story and several of his favourite recipes.
- You can then do an escort mission with said NPC that auto-scrolls, where his speed keeps changing between much slower than you and much faster than you.
- There’s a cute dog, but if you try to pet it, it explodes into hostile ants.
- You only have five saves, and once you’ve used them all, you can’t save at all anymore.
- The main character’s mood is constantly dropping; you have to type in compliments for him to keep him going.
- But the game detects not only whether you’ve typed in a genuine compliment, but also whether you’ve used the compliment before—so you have to come up with about 50-60 unique ways to cheer him up over the course of the game.
@everywhereno
♬ original sound – Everywhere Nowhere
And, genuinely, that’s not even a full list of all the maddening things that have been added between November and now. The irony, however, is that currently Everywhere Nowhere is inflicting all this on noone but themselves.
In order to test the levels, EW has to actually play them—and the game is so infuriating and tedious that they seem to be creating a private hell for themselves. One attempt to beat the first level, very early on in the game’s life when it was still mostly just a basic platformer, took 145 tries. A more recent attempt to beat level 2 took over 1,000.
If you want to help out in the building of this digital torture device, just drop your suggestions on the latest video. But beware—I fear that we’re rapidly approaching the point where this abomination might actually get released to the public, and then we’ll all have to reckon with what we’ve contributed to.
@everywhereno
♬ Jazz Hip Hop in the early 90’s(219692) – TOKYO Lonesome Blue
