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The solution to space junk might be space lasers because lasers solve everything obviously

As any child running around the park holding a plastic raygun will tell you, most issues can be resolved by the correct application of a suitable amount of lasers, preferably of the pew-pew variety. However, one startup is aiming to solve the very real problem of orbital debris by using honest-to-goodness satellite mounted space lasers, which may end up proving once and for all that our childhood instincts were correct. 

The satellites are planned to be operated by Orbital Lasers, a startup backed by Japanese satellite operator SKY Perfect JSAT, and have been jointly designed by the operator in collaboration with the Riken research institute (via The Register). The plan is to use a technique called laser ablation to emit a powerful laser beam that vaporises the surface of a targeted piece of debris, and it’s the impulse emitted from this vaporisation that can not only prevent it from rotating in its current trajectory, but also be used to decelerate it, causing it to fall into Earth’s atmosphere and burn up.

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